02 6 / 2010
past the two week mark…
meh :( 13 days. I’m starting to get really sad. luckily there will be enough people working in New York so that saying goodbye won’t be the worst thing in the world, but it’s the LSE/GC/London experience we’ll never have again that depresses me. I’ve loved London from the minute I set foot in it, and I’m loving it even more just as I’m getting ready to leave. Being able to see past its flaws straight from the start kept me happy and sane all year. Going back to Smith will be great, but leaving this place knowing I’ll never return to the same people and experiences is what makes me so sad. It feels like I’m going through a bad break-up in which I’m the one who’s still attached.
London was fantastic socially (far superior to Smith, obviously, lolz socially retarded liberal arts colleges) but in the past few days I realized the breadth of my academic knowledge has also expanded significantly. I’ve always depended on good teachers/professors to help me learn and perform well. I NEVER do my readings back at Smith (especially not in econ classes) because lectures/discussions cover all the relevant material. After studying here, I can finally open up a textbook and teach myself everything I need to know for an exam. For a lot of people this is nbd since they skip class and teach themselves things all the time in the states, but that isn’t in my nature. The fact that I can study a model from lecture notes and learn how to apply it on my own is a huge step. It makes me feel much more secure in my abilities to succeed in grad school and the workplace. This is something LSE has forced me to do, and I am grateful. Smith has given me a lot of confidence, but LSE has given me more in terms of independence and a sense of security in my future successes. At this point, I’m exactly where I want to be, which is also why I’m finding it so hard to say goodbye…
